How to not scare away the ladies, at least not with your shoes
Has it been a long time since a lady has let you buy her a drink? Maybe it's your shoes! Here is some dating advice
Gentlemen, there are many official style rules when it comes to shoes, and you should know them. But I am not the right person to explain these to you - there are experts far more experienced than me. What I can tell you about though, is the effect your shoes have on women. Of course, we check your face first - but only for a second, shortly before we start scanning you. Not from head to toes, but the other way around.
Of course, women are not stupid: we know that when it comes to men, style is not everything. Much more important is that you are kind, funny and smart. So, relax, most of us definitely do not make our decision to date you or not, entirely on your shoes. The only thing I want to say is: your shoes can make it a lot harder for you. In our minds, a whole movie about which type of person you are starts rolling the moment we look at your feet.
So here are the Top 8 unsexy shoes you should avoid at all cost - even if you are hilariously funny, smart and good-looking - and which ones you should try instead.
Don´t wear Square-toed business shoes
I cannot believe these were ever on trend, but then, in the Nineties we did the craziest things!
Even more unbelievable is that there are still men out there wearing square-toed shoes with their business suits. Is it because they seem more comfortable? Is it because you want one shoe model for every occasion, smart enough for business appointments yet not too elegant for cinema nights (it isn't)?
Well, I actually don't care for any of these reasons, because I do not want to date a man who needs comfortable footwear, so his feet don't hurt while he is hawking credit card contracts in malls and airports. Do you expect anything extraordinary from life? Apparently not.
What to buy instead: Derbys
It`s the no-fuss men's shoe that goes with almost any suit and any situation (well, it doesn't, but it hurts much less). The Derby is the first investment for men who do not want to overthink shoes. If you are really into larger toes, opt for Brogues. They are not sexy either, but you can make up for it during the date with some extra wit.
Don´t wear Double-buckle shoes
I know this shoe is a socially accepted model. But I don't allow them, as a woman. Buckle versions are the ultra-conservatives among shoes - dull and narrow-minded. They are practical because you do not even have to tie them, yet elegant enough for formal occasions, in short: their wearer does not leave the room for any kind of extravaganza. Not during the daytime, and for sure not in bed. But hey, sex is not everything, right?
What to buy instead: Plain Oxford shoes
The shoelace eyelets are attached under the vamp - this is called "closed lacing ". Women do not know any of these details, but their brains will notice a lacing - trust me, the effort before leaving the house is worth it, and you still won’t look like a weird liberal hippie in these!
Don´t wear Tan shoes
The well-dressed Italians started this trend: tan shoes in very light hues. They actually can pull it off simply because their skin tone is much darker than the men living farther north. Unfortunately, many men from northern parts of the world feel they are Italians by heart - and try to steal a little bit of their classic peacock charm. The only problem is that you have to be a peacock to look like one - and peacocks really take care of their feathers. The northern tan shoe wearer instead thinks his sloppily chosen shoes transform him into a modern Agnelli. Otherwise he would know that tan shoes with blue or black suits are a No-Go. In short, he is not interested in details, a rather rustic personality.
What to buy instead: Chocolate brown shoes
They match much better with most skin tones.
Don´t wear Flip flops
This is a No. Even in beach situations. Because nothing looks unsexier than a man walking like a duck. Also, men's feet, most of the times are not exceptionally beautiful, so there really is no reason to show them off. What does this choice tell me about a man? Not that he is a surfer (who prefers being barefoot or in trekking sandals), but a guy in a midlife crisis, angry about the unfair fact that men do have to sweat in shoes in summer, while women don't. He is desperately trying to give the impression that he can hang loose, but he can't because he is just too depressed about the fact that a woman got the promotion he worked so hard for.
What to buy instead: Espadrilles
Espadrilles. They are worn by hipsters in cities, but in reality, have always been the gentlemen's choice when relaxing by the sea. They typically don't cost too much and look incredibly relaxed and carefree when combined with Bermuda shorts and a martini cocktail. They are worn by bosses.
Don´t wear Fake-Vintage boots
Boots with a used look are fine under only one circumstance: they have been used and you have tackled mountains and deserts in them. Unfortunately, there a men who prefer buying the adventure look in the form of a shoe. These shoes are even worse than cowboy boots - because, for the latter, it at least takes some guts. Cowboy boots are exotic. With them, a man consciously chooses the role of the weirdo - it is an adventure in itself to wear them. Fake vintage boots instead are the choice of the wanna-be Easy Rider. With him, everything will always be only a dream.
What to wear instead: Chelsea boots
They were designed as "paddock boots "by the cobbler for Queen Victoria in the Nineteenth century. They were mainly for riding uses and then rediscovered in the Fifties by the London' Chelsea set' - a group of artists, designers, and socialites. Isn't that the group you would like to join?
Don´t wear undone laced high boots
Big, high boots with your jeans tucked in are always a little bit ridiculous. I would never protest them when you are out in the woods searching for mushrooms, but in urban surroundings they seem excessive. There are no yellow boletuses to identify and the two snowflakes that just fell from the sky? A real man can survive them in sneakers, snowflake! No, I do not buy the hands-on, nature guy mentality. Men wearing these are just the opposite - the type of guy a woman needs to kill a spider for.
What to buy instead: Desert boots
They are ankle-high, so you can tuck your pants in and wear thick socks. They are also comfortable for a casual walk yet look decent when you go for a drink afterwards.
Don´t wear designer label´s sneakers
Overpriced sneakers from big designer labels, especially the ones who make most of their money with designing women´s shoes, are usually worn by men who just got out of a costly divorce. They worked so hard all these years in an unhappy marriage that they did not find the time to even think about what they like in terms of style. Meanwhile, the desperate housewife developed a shopping dependence and dressed not only herself but also him. Maybe you thought: ok, I am going to wear them, as long as she shuts up. Now, you are lost without her - you are definitely a nice guy, but it´s too early for a date!
What to buy instead: Normcore sneakers
Means: sneakers from trusted sneaker labels. If you really want to make a difference, learn everything about "the drop "- the date when exclusive models from Nike or Adidas are released. They can be overpriced, too, but it is because devoted collectors, not unhappy wives drive the price.