Let us touch your wardrobes, gentlemen!
Or open up. You don't keep any skeletons in your closet, do you?
I have never touched the closet of any of my boyfriends. I am a liberal and live by the motto: Live and let dress. My boyfriends all had their very own strange styles: one liked to dress like a very elegant German forest ranger, with long loden coats and hats - but he was a winemaker after all, and he also had not one, not two, but four impeccable tuxedos in his closet, one for every season - a fact that made up for everything. Another one spent most of his time in a bathrobe, and, I have to admit, it fitted perfectly with his lavish lifestyle. Style is an expression of oneself - what you see is what you get. So if you can't deal with the weird, quirky fashion choices of a man, you probably should simply get another boyfriend. So goes the theory.
Yet, the male closet is just too fascinating for not stepping in. Because in contrast to us women, men keep much more than their shirts and chinos and jackets in there, for example, their whole life. Not for nothing somebody famously invented the „skeletons in the closet“, right? So is it really abusive to just sneak in there from time to time? Just to get to know a little bit more about his childhood? Don't old boys' T-shirts from Benetton tell a lot about his upbringing? And doesn't reading old breakup letters from his exes make us more understanding when it comes to his weaknesses? Yes, we do think it is a little spooky that he also keeps ancient concert tickets and cigarette packs with dry marijuana crumbs in it. But doesn't this assure us that deep down he indeed is a very sensitive artist?
A woman sneaking into his wardrobe definitely isn't creepy. She just wants to learn a little more about him. Because most of the times, he is not a talker, unfortunately. The less he talks, the more mystery man he becomes in our minds. But digging a little bit does not mean we are actually touching his closet, right? That the hideous old track-pants somehow vanish while we are browsing a little bit is just a coincidence. But who on earth would want to wear these anyway? Not my boyfriend, of course!
So no, I haven't touched the wardrobe of a man, ever. Well, at least not literally. I remember the weird guy who at age 40 still wore his old Levi's 501-style ca. 1997 (and that was far before it came back in fashion), mixed with very old unironic t-shirts and a pair of basic Hogan sneakers. Whenever he had a special occasion, he just threw an even more historical blazer over it - with shoulder pads and a certain MC Hammer vibe. The fashion disaster became so evident that a colleague, once she saw him, felt the need to whisper some words of comfort in my ear. "My husband is a horrible dresser, too“, she sighed (it was a lie, but she became a dear friend).
I, though, stayed committed to my belief in fashion liberty and inner beauty of a man. Until we went to Cannes. It was festival time, and people were beautiful and sparkly, with some exquisitely-dressed French and Italian men mixed in here and there, in stark contrast to my beau. I put on my most beautiful dress and an extra effort into my hair, makeup - and smile. Because the longer we walked on the Promenade and the closer we got to the fabulous party, the angrier my oh so open-minded fashion heart got. At first, I started throwing away every single garment he possessed - in my mind. But just for a moment. Because the longer I walked beside him, the more he looked not like a man who does not care about clothes, but like a guy who did not care at all of making any effort for his girl. So, yes: I touched his closet - by pulling out the skeleton. It's no surprise that the relationship did not last long. So, if you don't want your wardrobe to be touched, dear guys, it is in fact very easy: Don´t be a mystery man. And show her that you care. Your closet will be your refuge, we promise.
Story by: Julia Werner
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