It`s strange, mysterious and sometimes frightening: Disappearing socks make us feel helpless and puzzled. Here, the secret life of socks is revealed. Plus: How to solve the problem forever.
The phenomena is evident: An average-household in an average western-industrialized household keeps between 300 and 1200 socks that don`t fit together. Sorry socks-wearers, there are no „University of Michigan” or such studies proving this statistic. This phenomena is far beyond science. It belongs to the area of things that are known and things that are unknown. The thing is, socks are aliens, who serve us well during the daytime, but enjoy their own lives when they are not on our feet. At night right beneath our beds, during the day when they are in the washing machine or in the dryer or when we travel.
Socks are constantly seeking freedom and individuality. That's why they hate to be considered twins, which is what we expect from socks.
This leads us to an uneasy conflict between sock-users and the socks themselves. The bad news for the sock-users is that socks must - sadly enough - be considered the winners of this conflict.
Yes, it's true. Dry your tears and consider it to be true. Sit down and read the headlines:
„Socks wins against mankind. More than 134 billion individual socks worldwide.”
How could that happen?
First of all, socks have a pride of their own. They are textiles and clothes just like scarves, hats, jackets and trousers, but nobody ever gave them the respect they deserved. What a shame. While all other designs and outfits are talked about by the fashion world press every few months, socks are constantly left out, especially by us, the consumers. Has anyone ever googled „the next upcoming sock-trends”? No. Has anybody ever searched for „the best socks for my favorite outfit”? No. Has anyone ever put a price on „the sock of the year”? Of course not.
What do we do instead? Humiliate the sock by buying „5 Pairs for 4,99” packs in the non-food-area of some anonymous bargain-supermarket. Borrow socks from overnight-friends („Sorry, mate, mine are wasted, do you have some for me?”). Or even worse: „Goddam, they stink, put them in the bin!”
That is hard to take for the socks. Socks have a soul and their soul has been hurt over and over again. That's why socks disappear - full of disappointment and mourning. That's why they disappear out of the dryer, vanish from the laundry basket, suddenly disappear from our luggage and find themselves lost and single in this strange and cold world looking for respect and appreciation. What a sad story, what a pity. Poor socks. Poor us.
What can we do?
Well, we can't take care of everything and taking care of the climate and our families is hard enough. But if we could spare a little bit of our time and money for poor and disrespected socks, we would be greatly rewarded with wonderful textiles, cool designs and the great feeling of wearing something precious and by doing so, giving our respect to the most disregarded textile in the history of fashion: socks.
And then, hopefully, if you listen carefully, right before you fall asleep, you might hear your socks talk to one another right beneath your bed:
„Hey, buddy, what do you think, shall we leave?”
„No way, man. We finally found somebody, who appreciates and respects us. This feels like home. We're gonna stay. Let's stick together.”
How great would that be?