Which stylish swimwear to wear is one of the toughest questions in men’s fashion!
Bathing trunks are one of the most underrated pieces of clothing. Tight panties or airy shorts?
Daniel Craig did the right thing in 2006 in the James Bond movie “Casino Royale”: he gets out of the ocean in tight, baby blue swimming trunks and it looks. Pretty. Cool.
Then I remember David Hasselhoff with a life buoy under his arm in Baywatch, and Alain Delon seducing Romy Schneider at the swimming pool.
In the meantime, however, at the local swimming pools and beaches the textile horror predominates – microslips lurking under inflated beer bellies and Hawaiian shorts pulled up to young men’s chicken breasts. Is it all a question of the body shape then? No, it’s attitude too. Maybe in the summer clothing dilemma, only strict regulations may actually help. In France, large Bermuda shorts are banned from some public swimming pools - supposedly for hygienic reasons.
My dad once advised me to look for my girlfriend in outdoor pools, “you know what you’ll get from the very beginning.” Politically correct? Maybe not too much. Is it true? That’s arguable. At the same time, you should by no means underestimate the difference of well-fitting, colour-perfect swimwear - men just as well as women. Just like a too flashy, too small Speedo will make even the most beautiful body appear unappealing, carefully chosen swim shorts bring out the best in your body.
Granted, the range of swimwear for the creative gentlemen is limited. Basically, they have no choice but to choose from only four models: the surfer shorts, the Bermuda shorts, the “panties” and the bathing slip. Most of the men are stuck anyways when it comes to choosing the right swimwear.
Short or long? Colourful or plain? With an elastic band or without? This little piece of textile has it all.
Should it be the tight swimmer model or rather the casual shorts? Monotonous or turtle pattern?
With swimming trunks, which could also be considered knickerbockers, you risk a belly landing. Such a “leg dress” is suitable at most, for jumping off the ten-meter tower cannonball style, but not for loitering at the pool.
If you’ve just celebrated your tenth birthday, you really don’t have to worry about finding new swim shorts. Everything you like is allowed: bright colours, playful patterns and, if necessary, the logo of your favourite football club. Until 20 certain games are just fine. But then at some point, one must say goodbye to the beloved surfer shorts in the knickerbocker style with five different colours and cheeky patterns. Unless of course you continue to surf.
Bermuda shorts are totally impractical when swimming. In the water, it inflates balloon-like and adhere themselves onto its wearer. When leaving the swimming pool, the pants drip from all fibers, which will leave you pulling a wide wet track behind you.
In the Mediterranean countries, the swimming shorts have never really become a thing. The stronghold of the Speedo - the swimming trunks in slip format – of course I’m talking specifically about Italy. That’s where you show what you have and, if necessary, even use a model with a cushion. Even at the Family Resort in Mallorca this Wonderbra is offered for the Male everywhere. It starts getting uncomfortable when you meet someone at the pool who obviously decided on the same model.
Conclusion: From 30 on always keep in mind: a little class down under. In adverts, the shorts are always worn by very sharp-edged men. The models never jump into a bucolic bathing lake, but always in a pool on a rooftop of a design hotel. So if you’re planning on spending your holidays like that, buckle up!
What you are not allowed to wear
Regardless of your build and physique try to avoid a few things if your goal is to look great at the beach. If possible, avoid large logo or brand symbols. I’m sure you’ve seen men in big shorts or briefs from Armani, Versace or Hugo Boss before, but big branding tends to scream: lack of self-confidence, not to mention a lack of personal style. So don’t be a brand victim and choose a tasteful model that fits your physique and skin colour rather than being the equivalent of a billboard.
related story: Leave men in flip-flops alone!