20 things no man over 35 should wear
Yes, yes - we already know: eternal youth, continued adolescence, always staying young, cultivating the child in the man. . . all contemporary demands on the “stronger” sex. That’s all right, but does this really have to be done within the means of fashion?
When did men stop dressing like adults?
Instead they wear the badge of their youth*(or the look of their sons) to their grave. Ridiculous and pathetic.
At some point, a man has to show his true colours - his age, his figure and his scalp. This time begins after the prolonged adolescence, between 30 and 35. During this time in your life, it’s about time to clean out the wardrobe. Here is a manual on what to get rid of.
Here are the 20 things, even if nobody wants to hear or read it, no man over 35 should be caught in public with, unless he wants to completely gamble away his reputation and sex appeal.
- Embroidered shirts:
Whether they are oversized, outlined drawings of golfers, horses or logo embroideries in the style of “Camp David” – an embroidered shirt signals an immature character.
Little boys sometimes wear three hoods at once, so it’s just a part of it. But at some point, you have to admit your age - not wearing hoodies is the first step.
- LOW-HANGING JEANS:
The low-rise trend (waistband sitting on the hip) is unfavourable to the physiognomy of the adult man, per se. Denim trousers look the worst in this scenario.
- Funny T-shirts:
Do you really have to let the whole world know that you don’t have a sense of humour and that’s why you wear strange jokes? T-shirts with basic jokes should remain in the context from which they came.
- Fancy Jeans:
There is a good term for washed-out, denim trousers with chafed-through areas, multiple pockets and accentuated seat pleats: “Women are scared”. All right?
- Jogging trousers:
Up to 25 you can still get by with this misunderstanding from the repertoire of the permanent sofa fans, but after 25, you should only wear them on the couch…or in the gym.
- Wraparound sunglasses:
This even makes kids look stupid - in adults, the effect multiplies exponentially. There are more subtle ways to show the world that you are “young”.
- Cargo pants:
Always puts a man, inevitably, in the visual proximity of thugs. Only, rarely, is there a peace-loving, long-term scout. Military clothing is generally critical from the age of 30.
- Wife Beater:
The muscle and carrier shirt is not an item of clothing that can be worn solo, without need. With a fit upper body, it may work, but with withered flesh it is a deeply felt horror.
Once upon a time, you took off your backpack and packed your briefcase. Today, men seem to dig this primary school style until they retire.
In any case, shoes made of plastic were just a wrong path in history. But, the worst of all is that of these perforated garden sandals, whose elegance-free appearance cannot even be endured brand-new.
- Jackets with fur hoods:
Parkas with dork collars are one of the worst textile aberrations of the present day anyway - and they are really embarrassing on grown men.
- Jewelry chains:
Men with opulent jewelry pendants (necklaces and bracelets) should be treated with caution. For any intellectual deficit, the jingling must certainly take it’s place.
- Three-quarter trousers:
It always looks as if something has gone wrong when a pair of trousers are neither short, nor long. The calf length makes the gentleman look like he either shrunk or is very short.
- XXL WATCHES:
Wearing a timepiece with a dial wider than one’s wrist may be normal for boys, but it seems silly for adult specimens of the male species.
- Colourful sneakers:
Nothing against a pair of beautiful sneaker classics, but the fancy trend with bells and whistles are only generously left by a man of old age to his younger colleagues.
- EAR PLUGS:
There’s nothing offensive about boys with earrings anymore, but there are older men with wide earlobes. Off to the surgeon and sew up this error from your youth.
Since, “The Unspeakable” has made them a political sign, the American dumb-jaw covers are even harder to bear. A hat is needed, not a cap!
- BIG HEADPHONES:
It’s good that an adult man also wants to groove through life with music - but must it be these XL headphones that make teenagers look like aliens?
In the past, the hairdresser would have been chastised for half a haircut, today he is patted on the shoulder. The half-shaved skull looks ridiculous, especially if it’s already grey.
Have to do staging now but will get to revenge dressing afterwards.